Twas a nice summer Friday, when all through the floor
Not a trader was stirring, as they were all on the shore;
The runs were sent out with their typical care,
In hopes that some young kid would be there
The Monkeys were nestled all snug in their chairs;
While visions of missed trades left them feeling like bears
And my trader in vest, and I in suit,
Had just given up our ill-fated pursuit,
When up on my screen there arose such a clatter,
I nearly fell off my chair seeing what was a matter.
Away to the chat window my mouse dashed,
To see if a client had given me an axe.
The red tinted hue on my Bloomberg screen,
Gave a hope that this day a trade I might glean,
When what to my wondering eyes did appear,
But a magnificent order on 8 million John Deere,
With a quick response of “ty” and “on it”,
I knew in that moment there was no time for wit.
More rapid than HFT did the holders I proclaim,
And roared, and shouted, and called them by name:
Now, Vanguard!, now, Franklin! now Capre and Fido!
On, Blackrock! on, Allianz! on, Pru and Pimco!
To the traffic cop trader! To all clients please call!
Now blast this run! That run! Forward them all!
As keys that before the madman did type,
When he sent this axe he left out no hype;
So up to the buy siders he left his fate too
With a head full of hope, and dream coming true,
And then, a jingling, I picked up the phone
To the hemming and hawing of a man groan,
As I put my hand on my head, and was about to stand down,
A man on the desk cooed the other side we have found.
He was dressed in luxury, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all from handmade output.
A big smile he had as I got slapped on the back,
And he looked like a child as I awaited another whack.
His eyes- how they twinkled! His cleft chin, how fine!
His hair was slicked back, his nose red from wine!
He said lift the offer, but not above par and 1/8th
And as I picked up the phone, I said I had faith
But received no answer and scrambled to IB
To find that my client had gone red on me
I sent a prayer of a text, hoping for a miracle
My phone buzzed back, but I was cynical
I got a pick it up Monday and ducked out of sight
“Happy Friday to all, and to all a good night”