Smile and Dial

As you know by now sales monkeys have not made a phone call in years due to the fact that the buyside MIT educated trader has put a stop to that.  “How dare this sales monkey call me, doesn’t he know he isn’t even in the same league as I am”? “IB ME MONKEY”  Buyside traders know big words like convexity, binomial theorem and correlation. Monkeys use words like chief, guy and steak on toast.  We also can’t make any calls to present our research because its virtually nonexistent. As you know most if not all the good ANALyst have moved to the buyside and all we are left with are the washed up has beens that have been doing this for 30 years and still think a bond in the 50’s is “fairly valued”. Hey we can’t afford a good analyst so we’ll just keep this guy who doesn’t have the balls to make a decision on a credit.  Good luck supporting your broker lifestyle with that.  So management here at 3go1go securities has decided that we should go back to doing things the old fashioned way, smile and dial.  It’s the cheapest easiest way to improve sales and its guaranteed to work.  Just think of the simplicity to it.  You pick up the phone then smile then dial.  It can’t get any easier than that.   I think the sales manager went to Harvard business school to figure this theory out.  So good luck fellow sales monkeys because if that’s all management can come up with you’re gonna need it.

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