Here at 3Go1Go World HQ, we like to say that we’re about the future. The fact is that without recent advances in telecom and technology, TGOGing would still be only the wet dream of some sociopathic buy-side trader with a clinical abhorrence for actual human contact.

The telephone? Excuse us, but we think not. Because besides the obvious downside of having to listen to someone else speak (shoot me, please!), and worse, of having to respond by actually speaking oneself (rip out my internal organs with a machete and allow the vultures to pick at my wasted flesh while I lay dying under a blistering Arabian sun, please!), telephones can get so dirty and so germy. Ugghhh! What 25-year-old MIT astrophysics grad with his own Gulfstream V would ever let some infected handset make contact with the head that houses the billion-dollar brain? And for what? To listen to some useless drivel–“We like the homebuilders in here, our guy thinks the Fed is done for a while, crude is running into strong resistance at $135, blah,blah,blah”–rendered utterly incomprehensible by the unwashed Joizy accent of some Rutgers communications major? Gag me with an unstable uranium isotope.

TGOG’s Next Frontier?

So, yeah, we understand the value of the technology. We get it. We’re Americans, dammit, and we’re not afraid to venture forth where no man has gone before. But we’re a bit miffed that it took a company from Canada (ice hockey, Molson’s, endless boredom—yes, thatCanada) to come up with a solution for the burgeoning community of road-warrior TGOGers.

Imagine skipping out early (leaving that open notepad and that half-filled cup of still-steaming coffee on the desk before you snuck away was a good move), making your way to GCT, grabbing a 20-ounce Foster’s just before hopping on to the 4:14, slouching down in your window seat, and–before the train even leaves the station, before you even pop open the can–you pull out your brand new Curve, fire up the Bloomberg client app, dash off a content-free message to 300 buy-side recipients who couldn’t possibly give less of a shit, and get exactly the same response you’d get if you were still sitting in front of your PC and your $20,000/year Bloomberg terminal, i.e., vapor. And it all happens at the speed of light.

Now that’s progress. Kudos, Blackberry.

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