Here at 3Go1Go HQ we have a diverse group of sales folk, which means we have all three classes of old white guys: Irish, Italian, and Jewish. This eclectic group of free thinkers has crafted various approaches to opening new relationships with their mid-20s buy side clients. Today, we will breakdown a few of the timeless strategies deployed to establish a deep and lasting relationship in the hope that our 3Go’ing will eventually be picked up and not sent into the abyss.
The Confident Backslapper:
This sales approach is all about looking and acting like a rich guy that knows how to have fun and make money. He will open up with a little history of his previous successful career stints at DLJ, MS, Jefferies, and his now commission-only gig at Bucket Shop Co. After establishing how great of a salesman he is and how lucky you are to have him in your corner, he will proceed to offer you as many cocktails as you can handle and slap your back countless times as he laughs at his own recycled cliché jokes. This will eventually end with you tapping out to go home after too many drinks as he begs you to go to the strip club because he knows a guy who can get you special service!
The Please have Pity on me:
This strategy comes in two forms, the professional plea for help and the my personal life sucks approach. Let’s tackle the professional angle first, which involves a detailed explanation of how trading with his Bucket Shop Co. directly impacts him and how much he appreciates your business. He will do his best to establish himself as a friendly face that works for YOU by promoting how his Bucket Shop can’t front run because they have no capital (This guy has wet dreams of working at a capital shop again by the way). He also spins the bulge bracket bank as a faceless corporation, who don’t “work” your orders with the same vigor as he can (Bulge brackets 3Go1Go just like us). What this approach fails to realize is that the 25 year old trader doesn’t care about him at all and that taxpayer-funded bank has new issues which is easy money for the young trader.
The woe is me personal life approach can be a bit more nuanced to fit each individual broker’s past, but the basic theme remains the same in that he is at the crossroads of his life and you can help him move forward. The most common and often saddest story involves how he just had his 7th kid with his 3rd wife and without this job he just won’t be able to put food on the table. What this story typically omits is that he is still driving a BMW 5 series, wears a Breitling, and most obviously put himself in this dire predicament by his own actions. The fledgling buy sider may fall victim to this and throw him a pity trade at first, but after using this same story for multiple years even the thickest of young Princeton grads can realize he is being conned.
The 1980s or Jefferies in 00s Strategy:
What do you want? An apartment for the mistress? Bottle service at the most exclusive club? Special stimuli enhancing pills? A midget on a private jet to the Super Bowl? You name it and they will find it for you! This model has had long periods of sustained success because once someone has you in awkward position you are forever engendered to trade with them to keep it on the down low. It can also be wildly entertaining for the young trader and free of perceived cost to him! However, as all great things come to an end this will too, as the client either realizes this not a sustainable lifestyle or the regulators do it for him.